With the exception of those who choose to abuse, rather than love their children, it is a fair comment that all parents love their children and would do anything within their power to give them a good life.

So what is the greatest gift you can give your children? Is it love? Is it faith? Is it guidance? Is it a sense of belonging? Or is it a combination of all of those things?

Those of you who have taken the time to read the "About Me" section of this site will know I personally come from a very fragmented family.

Before I go any further I will repeat what I said on that page, "I have learned to forgive a long time ago, but I can never forget."

I suffered abuse which wasn't warranted and generally had no love within my family. My three youngest brothers were only six, four and two respectively when I left home, so I never really got to know them as brothers. They were not in a position to even know I had got married and they were Uncles before they knew what an Uncle was. My own Uncles, Aunts, Grandparents and Cousins all lived in Italy. It can be said I really do not know my own family.

I swore, that if I ever had children, (and by the grace of God I have been blessed with four beautiful daughters), they would never suffer from the same things I did.

I refuse to be a victim! I am a survivor, and I would do everything within my power to break that cycle of abuse. Who knows? I certainly don't know, perhaps my parents were treated in a similar manner as I was, and simply continued that cycle of abuse. The Abused became the Abusers. I do know that for whatever reason, my younger siblings were not treated in the same way I was, perhaps life got easier as time moved on.

I broke that cycle of abuse and am very proud to be able to make that claim. I strived from the time my first daughter was born to instil in them a sense of values and conscience that I never knew as a child. Yes, I raised them in a Christian way, I taught them morals and values. I tried my hardest to instil in them the greatest of all Commandments.

"Love one another as I have loved you."

I am Christian because I freely chose that path and I always told my daughters that when I considered them old enough to make an informed, rational decision, about what path they wanted to follow, they would be free to make that choice. I would not force them to follow any given course, and I would always respect their choice. I certainly would not love them any less whatever choice they made. They are all young women now, and have made their own choices, not necessarily agreeing with what I believe, but as I always promised, I respect them for having done so. I love them as much as I ever did.

What their respective choices are is irrelevant, suffice to say they are all living a life filled with moralistic values. They are bringing their own children up in the same way.

I have been very lucky, the partners my three daughters (one daughter is still at home) have chosen are all men of high esteem, and they treat my daughters and Grand Children with the respect and dignity they deserve.

So, what is the greatest gift I have given my children? In my opinion it was the gift of belonging to a family. A family that loved and respected one another. A family that is close, no matter how many miles separates us physically. I have lost count of the number of times I said to my daughters:-

"Always remember, one day your mother and I won't be here, and all you will have then is each other."

They are all close to each other, they share their trials and tribulations. They share their triumphs and most of all they have all learned that all-important lesson.

"Love one another as I have loved you."

I am proud of what I have achieved, of course with the ever-present guidance, love and assistance of my loving wife.

I will leave this world a better man because I broke that vicious cycle.

©Copyright
Dark Blue Knight
1st January 2005







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