Image By Dark Blue Knight

Have you ever stopped to wonder
How our language is on the brink
Of a certain kind of stupid
It really makes you think

If people come from Poland
Then they are simply just called Poles
Shouldn’t people then from Holland
Be equally called Holes

If plural of a mouse
Becomes simply just two mice
Then shouldn’t just two houses
Be really called two hice

If you were to meet a wise man
You would his advice heed
But different with a wise guy
He is a different breed

If you wish to send some cargo
A ship will carry far
But drive it around the corner
It’s a shipment in your car

Now if you go out to buy some pants
Then one becomes a pair
But buy a bra at the same time
There’s only one in there

What of the word phonetic
Which means how a word’s said
So should not that word at least
Be spelled Fonetik just instead

If you go to a recital
To hear music on any day
Then why do we just recite
The words written for a play

When someone is living dangerous
How can you give advice
That they’ll get into hot water
Through skating on thin ice

When you have just one goose
And get another makes it geese
So using the same reasons
Shouldn’t a few moose be meese

When we are out at night time
It’s after dark to me and you
But if you consider seriously
After light would ring more true

What about a door that’s open
Ajar is what is said
So when a jar I open
Shouldn’t it be a door instead

Two vehicles that are travelling
And near collide you see
We say it was a near miss
But more like near hit seems to me

Those unfortunates with speech affliction
Must curse that stupid fool
Who put an "S" in the word lisp
It really was quite cruel

Sometimes we drive along a road
It may be a parking zone
But then we park our cars
On drives when we are home

If someone says you have fat chance
Another says your chance is slim
How on earth I sometimes wonder
Can they ever mean the same thing

When you see something horrific
It means it’s horrible
Doesn’t it just follow on then
That terrific should mean terrible

When buying a TV set
Do you get one or more
I always thought a set
Related to few at least for sure

I know there may be many
Instances like this
But really makes you wonder
How silly English is

Dark Blue Knight ~ Eddie
July 1999
Revised 23rd March 2008
All Rights Reserved

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