Many a plan of a good man,
Has been thwarted by a bad woman.
A lot of indigestion is caused by,
People having to eat their own words.
Humility is like underwear,
We should have it, but not let it show.
Adversity is the only diet,
That will reduce a fat head.
Is a city a concrete jungle,
Or a human zoo?
To err is human,
To cover it up is even more human.
A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything,
And the value of nothing.
A memory is what some people use,
To forget with.
Being your age is hard enough,
Without having to act it.
Why is there so much month left,
At the end of the money?
Women can make fools of some men,
Others are of the do it yourself type.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
It usually takes three or more.
Two's company,
Three's the result.
A committee is a group,
Who individually can do nothing,
But as a group decide nothing can be done.
The wheel was man's greatest invention,
Until he got behind it.
Dough is the wrong term for money,
Dough sticks to your hands.
I was a teacher's pet,
She couldn't afford a dog.
Women who want to be equal to men,
Have no ambition.
The eleventh commandment,
Thou shalt not be found out.
I'm young at heart,
But slightly older in other places.
In nuclear war,
All men are cremated equal.
Every rose has its thorns,
That's one thing that life teaches,
There's no such thing as a free lunch,
Without those boring speeches.
The best defence to logic,
Is stupidity.
A man with one watch knows what time it is,
A man with two watches is never sure.
Teamwork is essential,
It gives them someone else to blame.
Lead me not into temptation,
I can find it for myself.
If there's one thing I can't stand,
It's intolerance.
Life is just,
Another sexually transmitted disease.
Realisation,
When you turn forty-nine,
You're too old to die young.
