I used to be indecisive,
Now I'm not so sure.

From the sublime to the ridiculous,
Is only a short step.

Death is nature's way of telling you,
You have been doing too much.

Even a stopped clock is right,
Twice a day.

A lie is an abomination to the Lord,
But very helpful in getting out of trouble.

To err is human,
To really stuff it up,
You need a computer.

Success is relative,
The more success,
The more relatives.

Doing beats stewing.

Don't ever confuse an open mind,
With one that is vacant.

If someone can make it,
Someone else can break it.

A lot of people stop looking for work,
The moment they get a job.

It is unfortunate,
That swelled heads are not painful.

Middle age is when everything starts to click,
Your elbows, knees and neck.
Robert Orben

Many a plan of a good man,
Has been thwarted by a bad woman.

A lot of indigestion is caused by,
People having to eat their own words.

Humility is like underwear,
We should have it, but not let it show.

Adversity is the only diet,
That will reduce a fat head.

Is a city a concrete jungle,
Or a human zoo?

To err is human,
To cover it up is even more human.

A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything,
And the value of nothing.

A memory is what some people use,
To forget with.

Being your age is hard enough,
Without having to act it.
P.K. Shaw

Why is there so much month left,
At the end of the money?

Women can make fools of some men,
Others are of the do it yourself type.

Two wrongs don't make a right,
It usually takes three or more.

Two's company,
Three's the result.

A committee is a group,
Who individually can do nothing,
But as a group decide nothing can be done.

The wheel was man's greatest invention,
Until he got behind it.

Dough is the wrong term for money,
Dough sticks to your hands.

I was a teacher's pet,
She couldn't afford a dog.

Women who want to be equal to men,
Have no ambition.

The eleventh commandment,
Thou shalt not be found out.

I'm young at heart,
But slightly older in other places.

In nuclear war,
All men are cremated equal.

Every rose has its thorns,
That's one thing that life teaches,
There's no such thing as a free lunch,
Without those boring speeches.

The best defence to logic,
Is stupidity.

A man with one watch knows what time it is,
A man with two watches is never sure.

Teamwork is essential,
It gives them someone else to blame.

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find it for myself.

If there's one thing I can't stand,
It's intolerance.

Life is just,
Another sexually transmitted disease.

When you turn forty-nine,
You're too old to die young.

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