If you are in a funeral procession travelling at night,
Do you drive with your lights off?
When companies ship styrofoam,
What do they pack it in?
Do cemetery workers,
Prefer the graveyard shift?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia,
Can you read all right?
When you open a bag of cotton balls,
Is the top one meant to be thrown away?
If space is a vacuum,
Who changes the bags?
If you spin an Oriental person around several times,
Does he become dis-orientated?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic,
Called the rush hour?
Do pilots take,
Have you ever imagined a world,
With no hypothetical situations?
If a candle factory burns down,
Does everyone stand around and sing Happy Birthday?
How can there be such a thing,
As a self help group?
Did Noah keep his bees,
Have you ever seen a toad,
On a toadstool?
When you have daylight saving,
Where do you keep it?
Are part time band leaders,
Does that screwdriver,
Really belong to Phillip?
Can you buy an entire chess set,
In a pawn shop?
How important does a person have to be.
Before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"
But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven,
Do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza
Come in a square box?
Did cured ham actually have?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
When babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court,
Is it still called a hearing?
Why are you in a movie,
But you're on TV?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is bra singular,
And panties plural?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse
Drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
Why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff,
Why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn,
And vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
What is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons,
Does morality come from morons?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
But call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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